Instant enemies

Officiants. If you are unfamiliar with this term it means the person that is marrying you that leads a service or ceremony. Whether it be a Judge, Notary, Justices of the Peace, Celebrants, Reverend, Paster, Preacher, Priest, Friend, Professor or other religious bodies.

As a professional photographer, they either work good with you or don't. There really isn't any in between. Not all of them are bad or hard to work with, in fact, I'd say overall, they are fun and open to what I do. But the ones that have a bad hair day, forget it! I understand they may have had bad experiences with prior photographers or videographers but there is no good done by anyone with yelling or scolding without even knowing who we are individually and how we work. But it happens and quite often. At least a few weddings a year I get yelled at, literally, before I can even raise my hand to introducing myself. It's like a camera is an instant threat if you wear one. I'm never ready for it and it's always ironic to me because most are supposedly so called religious "caring" figures or icons, yet they are just plain uncaring to me and treat me like dirt that has no brain or feelings. It's like one of those things that front of the bride & groom they are pleasant as can be but as soon as the bride/groom leave the room they give you an evil eye. Very freaky movie-like. As I write this, it in no way reflects the bride and groom in ANY way, so never feel like it's your fault.

I had one yesterday in fact and that's why I've decided to vent about it. He told me to stand in one place only with no movement, which is fine, I can do that. Although the term movement has many different meanings to me. As they run through my mind I'm thinking, can walk over one step to center myself? There is movement in place: up, down and turning, can I do that? Can I breathe? Be specific dude. So then he proceeds asked me what I normally do while taking photos. So like any human, I started to answer and show my routine (in the one selected spot chosen) and I said I'll do my best from this angle and he raised his voice in front of guests and yelled "I'M NOT ASKING YOU! I'M TELLING YOU!!!" And then I think, "Well excuse me for being nice, now I want to purposely offend you because you're being a big jerk!" I just don't understand why we can't work together and find balance, what happened to make him so bitterly opposed?

I am one of those people that if you respect me, I'll respect you but the moment you set me off, I'm done. The only reason I don't leave at that point is because I realize that I was hired and it's not my day. Otherwise, I would walk out so fast and not cover it at all. I think it's extreme to treat others working that day like dogs and it's just plain not right. It used to effect me greatly and I'd cry when I got home and take it personal but now I shrug it off, it's no big deal, I'm used to it and I've hardened over the years. I realized, it's not me, it's them with a power trip. Along with all the other photographers in their world that chose to push their boundaries and ruin it for everyone else.

I have an understanding. I know how distracting movement can be so I limit it without request. I know how flash can blind you for a split moment when your trying to read so I try to flash when the reader is looking away or use indirect flash to help when possible. I know all these things so I do my very best while keeping in mind that I was also hired to do my job and I can't not take photos. I've had ceremonies that don't allow any photos taken, fine for me, maybe not for you but you should find out before your wedding. I've had some that allow flash only during the beginning and end with the wedding procession and recessional, which I listen. I'm pretty respectful and easy to work with so I don't understand why I get judged based on others' actions, it's truly unfair. But with all jobs, I deal. I am a true believer in letting things go but if it effects you from what they request, I refuse to take the blame when I know I could have done my job differently.

All in all, just keep in mind, it's not always rosy behind the scenes and I may mention there is "tension" or set rules have been in place so you are aware of the outcome of your photos and the reason behind it. I will never go into detail because I don't want to stress you out on your day, you have plenty of other things to worry about and to enjoy.

MY CURRENT PROJECT: Pendergast Wedding
SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: Calabria by Rune
CRAVING: light food and refreshing drinks
NEEDED A MOMENT: phone
BEST MOMENT: feeling balanced